My Mother’s Child

• Lesson 1: Being financially independent
• Lesson 2: Saving for your future self
• Lesson 3: Being Financially Savvy

She repeated them over and over until they became second nature. Today, when I think about her, these lessons come to mind.

My mom grew up in a very male-dominated society. A lot needed to happen for girls to get ahead in their time.

One of the ways for this to happen was to become financially independent.

In a previous post, I discussed my father’s cost-sharing plan for teaching kids to be financially independent.

By the time I came along, even though things had improved a lot, girls were still at a huge disadvantage.

How they grew up would depend a lot on how the parents choose to treat them, but also on what they learned from those around them.

As research continues to show, parents are still the most powerful influence on their children.

Mothers have a big influence on their girls, especially based on where they grew up.

Today, I can truly say I’m my mother’s daughter!

So, as you read these money lessons from my mother, it might be helpful to dig deep into your attitudes and your relationship with money.

Don’t be surprised if you start to see your parents in your actions.

Money Lesson 1: Support Yourself Financially

This money lesson from my mother has everything to do with financial independence.

Ensure you can always support yourself financially, especially before you settle down.

Don’t put yourself in a position where you stay in a bad situation because you are relying on somebody else to support you financially.

Growing up, I saw some of my schoolmates drop out to have babies.

More often than not, the girls would have no way of completing their education, in addition to having to take care of the baby.

They married very young, and these marriages didn’t always work out.

Looking back, I now know why this money lesson from my mother was so important.

Importance Of Education

Education was and still is a big deal in my home country, and is the typical way to improve your situation in life.

The same lesson applies to our kids today – study, get a job, and make a living.

In the US, kids have more opportunities to make money than we had, but the principle remains, regardless of where they were born.

Figure out how to make a living, enough to support yourself.

Money Lesson 2: Prioritize Saving For The Future

My mother was a big proponent of saving for the future, regardless of how tight your budget was.

She was adamant that anytime we got paid or got some money in our lives, we needed to save some of it (for our future selves).

Her words were “Don’t let your present you bankrupt your future self.”

If you prioritize something, you are most likely going to do it.

In your spending plan, have a savings category and make it the first entry in the budget (spending plan).

If you’re having trouble with it, consider it a regular expense that needs to be paid for first.

This money lesson from my mother is best implemented if we simplify things and reduce friction.

Reduce The Saving Mental Energy: Automate Your Money Flow

One way to be successful is to automate your money flow. Set a specific amount going to the saving/investing category,y and it will happen.

Reduce the mental energy required to figure out where you are with specific goals!

To make it real, name your saving goals, including dates, then create saving buckets to match those goals.

So instead of looking at a pile of money every month in your savings account, do the following instead.

• • Create different saving buckets and give them specific names with dates.

                     “40th Birthday Celebration June 2024”

                     “6-12 Months Emergency Fund” 

                     “New knee cash payment”

• • Do the math once, and you are done. e.g.

$xy every month for x number of months – will meet my $2,000  goal by Jan 2024 

• • Finally, set it up and get on with your life.

Money Lesson 3: Become Financially Savvy 

The best way to explain this is to quote her.

“If something affects you daily it is important. If it’s that important, then you need to know enough about it to make independent, smart decisions.”

She said there was no room for not learning enough about specific subjects if they impacted you.

Money falls neatly into that category, and it’s key that we learn enough about it to make good decisions.

Being a girl in my society meant having an inbuilt disadvantage, so this was key if I was going to have a chance to succeed.

It was important to learn about the subject or know how to find the correct information.

She exemplified the saying “Knowledge is power.”

Her lesson partly explains why I’m in the industry. 

At some point in my tech journey, I realized I knew very little about the US financial system and how it impacts those with financial ties overseas and those in tech, so I decided to learn everything I could about the system.

There are many resources to learn about personal finance, but figuring out where to start can be overwhelming.

If you are the DIY type start with Investopedia’s personal finance page, which also includes some books on investing.

Understand your situation and remember that it’s unique, your values differ from your neighbor’s, and your risk profile is yours.

You have a unique story – stay true to that.

Here is my story.

Use this to evaluate the information out there before you act on it.

The money lessons from my mother have served me very well. Everything I do with money can easily relate to one of her lessons.

I’m passing these lessons to my girls, and I hope they pass them on to future generations.

What money lessons did your parents pass on to you?

Originally published in Retirement Answer Man Podcast.

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